Family & Patient Support Archives

Mark Myers In Children, Family & Patient Support, Survivorship

Healing Luna’s Body & Heart

On November 15, 2022, five-year-old Luna’s world changed in an instant. After weeks of one illness after another, including COVID, the flu, strep throat, she spiked a fever of nearly 105 degrees and was rushed to the emergency room. The blood work came back strange. Then a physician sat her parents down and said the word no family is ready to hear: leukemia. Luna was diagnosed with high-risk leukemia.

She didn’t speak for four days, which was completely out of character. The loud, joyful girl everyone knew went quiet, trying to make sense of a world that no longer made sense to anyone around her. Then a child life specialist sat down beside her with crayons, making Luna laugh for the first time since the diagnosis. It was the first crack of light in a very dark week.

What followed was two and a half years of chemo, allergic reactions, and painful shots that left her furious and afraid. Through it all, Luna found ways to smile and showed a resilience that amazed everyone around her.

But healing from cancer isn’t only about the body. Halfway through treatment, something else took root. Luna experienced an anger and a grief she didn’t have words for yet. In April 2024, with CURE’s support, her family found her a counselor who specialized in play therapy. It changed everything. For two years, Luna had sacrificed control. She had been told what to do, when, and how. In that small therapy room, for the first time, she got to choose what would happen. She picked the toys. She set the pace. And through play, she worked through everything treatment had taken from her.

In April 2025, Luna rang the bell.

Today she is almost nine. She loves being outside, singing, and dancing. She is imagination in motion. She’s heading into third grade, still learning how to be a kid among kids after years spent mostly surrounded by adults. Thanks to counseling and play therapy, Luna’s family didn’t just survive her cancer; they are all learning how to live after it. That gift, the space to heal her heart as well as her body, is worth more than gold.

Mark Myers In Children, Family & Patient Support, Volunteer Spotlight

Small Gestures, Giant Impact

In Zeke’s bright eyes, the world remains full of wonder despite the battle he’s been fighting for more than a year. As his family celebrated Christmas, his mother, Sarah, noticed something concerning in the holiday photos – a yellowish tint to her son’s skin. After weeks of on-and-off illnesses that doctors judged to be seasonal bugs, her maternal instinct screamed that something wasn’t right.

“I never felt like I had a lot of mother’s intuition,” Sarah recalled. “But something didn’t feel right. So I kept pushing for more tests until we found out.”

That persistence – that refusal to give up – saved her son’s life.

When the blood test finally revealed leukemia, Sarah’s world collapsed into a single devastating heartbeat. The diagnosis of leukemia launched the family into the disorienting world of childhood cancer – weekly hospital visits, chemotherapy, and medical terminology no parent should ever have to learn. Through it all, three-year-old Zeke remained resilient, his spirit and imagination soaring even when his energy couldn’t keep pace.

But hospital days brought challenges that tested both mother and son. The accessing of his port became a source of overwhelming anxiety for Zeke.

“There is nothing – nothing – like the pain of having to hold down your child through a procedure,” Sarah shared. “For so long, it took everything in me not to cry when we got Zeke’s port accessed. He would scream and cry and sometimes get so upset that he would throw up.”

Then came an unexpected turning point in the form of a simple little bag.
Zeke’s nurses began telling him about a special reward waiting after his port accessing – a trip to the “Secret Snack Closet” where CURE Childhood Cancer provided snack bags for brave children like him. What started as a simple distraction turned into something magical.

“Eventually, Zeke started getting more excited about going to the secret snack closet than he felt fear about getting accessed,” Sarah explained. “It became a bit easier and easier to distract him, and I found I became less anxious about our hospital visits.”

Now in maintenance treatment since September 2024, Zeke’s blond hair is starting to return, complete with a cowlick he proudly calls his “ponytail.” Zeke continues to inspire those around him with his resilience. His daily declaration that he wants to be “strong like dad” reveals the strong bond with his father, only deepened through this journey.

“As silly as it sounds,” Sarah reflects, “those snack bags have been instrumental in our journey through childhood cancer and have come to represent hope for us. We are incredibly thankful for all the people who donate them.”

Zeke’s story teaches a profound lesson – how something that seems so small can make a big difference. How even the smallest gestures of kindness can transform a child’s darkest moments. And how sometimes courage can come packaged in chocolate chip cookies and cheese crackers. If you would like to learn about how you or your organization can make snack bags to encourage kids like Zeke, visit our volunteer page.

Mark Myers In Children, CURE Childhood Cancer, Family & Patient Support

Forever in Our Hearts

Jonathan’s bright smile could light up any room. An energetic, happy child who loved playing soccer and building Legos, he was just three years old when his world changed forever. In August 2016, after complaining about headaches and then throwing himself on the floor in pain, Jonathan’s parents knew something was terribly wrong. Their instincts led to a devastating discovery – a mass the size of a golf ball on Jonathan’s cerebellum, a rare high-grade brain tumor.

The family’s journey began with a nine-hour surgery that his mother describes as “gut-wrenching” – the first of many difficult days ahead. During the following year of treatment, Jonathan seemed to improve, offering a glimmer of hope. But in December 2017, the tumor returned, twice its original size. Jonathan maintained his sweet nature throughout his treatment, even while missing the cherished family tradition of playing soccer.

When Jonathan passed away in October 2020 at just seven years old, the void seemed impossible to fill. They endured the unimaginable pain of watching Jonathan’s friends reach milestones he never would.

“It’s a bittersweet feeling,” his mother, Rosa, shared. “On one hand, I love seeing them grow up and do things a child should do. But it also reminds me that Jonathan will never get to accomplish those milestones.”

But in their darkest moments, CURE Childhood Cancer remained by their side, changing from an organization that supported them during treatment to a lifeline in grief. At CURE’s Hope & Healing retreat, Jonathan’s parents found a community that understood their trauma.

“At first, I wasn’t sure about talking about my pain,” Rosa admitted. “But the others there knew the same hurt. That helped me to open up. We bereaved parents can talk, relate, and have nobody judge us.”

CURE’s Healing Hearts events also became a source of comfort and strength for Rosa. Every quarter, mothers come together to share, connect, and support each other after the loss of a child. Their bonds extend beyond scheduled gatherings, with messages of hope and support when someone is struggling.

“Those are my ladies,” Rosa said of the other mothers who’ve lost children to cancer. “We meet somewhere quiet so we can talk and have a meal or do an art project. It doesn’t matter what we do; it’s the company.”

Even as time passes, CURE ensures families know they aren’t forgotten. Their child’s memory lives on, and they remain a part of the CURE family forever. Through bereavement events, CURE creates spaces where families can honor their children while finding strength in community.

Jonathan’s family takes comfort in knowing they are never alone on their journey through grief. In this way, Jonathan’s legacy of courage continues – not only in his family’s hearts, but also in the compassionate community that continues to walk alongside them day after day.

Mark Myers In CURE Childhood Cancer, Family & Patient Support

How Emergency Financial Aid Helps Childhood Cancer Care

A childhood cancer diagnosis rearranges everything overnight. Parents leave jobs to sit at a bedside. Siblings move in with grandparents. A family that was managing fine on two incomes suddenly finds itself down one paycheck, driving hours to a children’s hospital, and paying for gas, meals, and a hotel room they never budgeted for. This is where emergency financial assistance for childhood cancer families becomes critical for families in treatment. As a recognized leader among childhood cancer charities, CURE ensures no family faces pediatric cancer alone. We provide targeted financial assistance, in-hospital meals, counseling, and long-term care. We also provide direct financial and emotional support to parents and siblings navigating diagnosis, treatment, and survivorship across our partner healthcare systems.

The Hidden Costs of Pediatric Cancer Treatment

When people picture pediatric cancer treatment costs, they usually think of hospital bills and insurance co-pays. Those matter, but they’re only part of the picture. The costs that quietly threaten a family’s stability are the ones insurance never touches:

Travel and lodging expenses for families who live an hour from the nearest pediatric oncology center
Meals eaten in hospital cafeterias or takeout ordered during long inpatient stays
Lost income, when a parent has to cut hours or quit a job to become a full-time caregiver
Everyday bills such as rent, utilities, and car payments don’t pause just because a child is sick

Research on families navigating pediatric cancer consistently shows that these non-medical costs are among the most common reasons treatment gets disrupted. A missed appointment because a family couldn’t afford gas isn’t a small thing; in pediatric oncology, treatment adherence (sticking precisely to a chemotherapy or radiation schedule) can meaningfully affect outcomes. Financial strain, in other words, isn’t just a hardship. It’s a clinical risk.

Why Financial Aid Programs Matter for Treatment Adherence

Emergency financial aid programs exist to close that gap between what a family can afford and what treatment actually requires. When a family can count on help with a hotel bill near the hospital, a tank of gas for the drive back for a follow-up scan, or a utility payment during a month when nobody in the house is bringing home a paycheck. CURE helps keep a child’s cancer diagnosis from creating a financial crisis with consequences that can last long after treatment ends.

This is especially true for single-parent households. A single parent facing a childhood cancer diagnosis doesn’t have a second income to fall back on, and often doesn’t have a second set of hands to help with siblings, meals, or the logistics of hospital life. Whether that’s direct bill payment, gas cards, or grocery assistance, meaningful financial support can be the difference between a family staying afloat and a family falling into debt they’ll carry long after treatment ends.

How CURE Childhood Cancer Supports Families Through Emergency Assistance

CURE Childhood Cancer built its family support programs around exactly this reality: that the financial side of a cancer diagnosis can be as destabilizing as the medical side.

Family Emergency Fund. CURE’s Family Emergency Fund provides emergency financial assistance to families of children with cancer, helping cover the unpredictable costs like travel, lodging, and urgent bills that pile up during treatment. Families in Georgia, or families being treated at a Georgia hospital, work through their child’s social worker to apply. CURE also extends assistance to families outside Georgia, funds permitting. Because every application is routed through a social worker who already knows the family’s situation, help reaches the families who need it most without adding another burden to their plates.

Open Arms Meal Program. Feeding a family during a hospital stay, or feeding siblings back at home while a parent stays with a hospitalized child, is its own daily challenge. CURE’s meal program helps take that particular stress off the table, literally.

Counseling and Coping Resources. Financial stress and emotional stress feed each other. CURE’s counseling services give parents, patients, and siblings a place to process what they’re going through, alongside the practical help.

Family Resources and Outreach. Beyond emergency funds, CURE connects families with broader resources and stays engaged with them through outreach, so that support continues throughout the treatment journey and into survivorship or bereavement care, if needed.

What This Means for Your Family

If your child has been diagnosed with cancer and your family is feeling the financial squeeze of travel, lodging, meals, or lost income, know two things. First, you are not alone. Isolation is one of the most common and least talked-about parts of a childhood cancer journey. Second, help exists, and it’s designed specifically for families in your position.

The first step is filling out our New Patient Form so we can connect you with our resources.

Next, talk to your child’s social worker about what’s available through CURE Childhood Cancer’s Family Emergency Fund and other family support services. That conversation costs nothing, and it’s often the first step toward relieving a burden you shouldn’t have to carry alone.

Mark Myers In Children, Family & Patient Support, Uncategorized

I Am Her Strength

Five-year-old De’Meiah (Meme) was in kindergarten when her teacher noticed she wasn’t using her left arm. For her mom, Takia, that small observation set off a medical journey that changed their family forever. When doctors first suggested scoliosis, Takia’s instincts told her something more was going on. She pushed for answers, sought a second opinion, and finally got an MRI. During the scan, Meme had an allergic reaction to the sedation and stopped breathing. A second MRI showed a tumor at the top of Meme’s spine, pressing on the nerve and preventing her from using her arm.

Testing of the tumor revealed that it was not fast-growing, but its location on the spine made its removal impossible. Chemotherapy was the only path forward. Over the past three years, she has reacted well to treatment, but doesn’t like to have her port accessed.

If you spend a few minutes with Meme, you’ll learn she is a diva who loves the camera, dressing up, and the color pink. She’ll dance for you, or she’ll tell you she’s going to be a doctor, a police officer, or a teacher when she grows up. Chemo has made her more home-bound than before. But she’s filled the house with TikTok videos, joyful energy, and a spirit that makes everyone in her life cheer for her. She even worked hard to make the second-grade honor roll.

Behind every child who fights cancer, there is a parent fighting quietly, relentlessly, and sometimes alone. As a single mom, Takia spent the bulk of Meme’s treatment working full-time while getting her to appointments at least twice a week. She recently took a leave of absence so she could be fully present as Meme nears the finish line of her treatment.

Through it all, she has held herself together with intention. She doesn’t cry in front of Meme. She wants her daughter to feed off her strength, not her fear.

“I am her strength,” Takia shared. “I don’t cry when I’m around her. I cry when I’m by myself. But I don’t want her to worry, because she’s the one going through it.”

CURE has walked alongside them every step of the way. For a working single parent navigating treatment, having a team she could count on wasn’t just helpful, it was essential.

“God is good, he has held Meme and me close during this time,” Takia said. “And the CURE team has always been there for us. We felt loved and supported from the day we learned about the tumor.”

On May 14, Meme will ring the bell: a girl who lost the use of her arm and got it back, an honor roll student, and a diva with a bright future ahead. And she will ring it as the daughter of Takia, a mother who never stopped fighting for answers and has stayed strong when it was hardest.

This Mother’s Day, we celebrate them both.

Mark Myers In Childhood Cancer, CURE Childhood Cancer, Family & Patient Support

Bereavement Support for Families

Losing a child to cancer changes everything. The world feels different, time moves strangely, and the pain can seem impossible to bear. You may feel lost, wondering where to turn or how to take the next step. CURE Childhood Cancer walks alongside bereaved families through this journey, offering support that continues long after treatment ends.

This guide covers everything you need to know about pediatric cancer bereavement support—from understanding grief to finding counseling resources, sibling programs, and community connections. You don’t have to face this alone.

Key Takeaways: Pediatric Cancer Bereavement Support

Grief after losing a child to cancer is unique and deeply personal. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.
Professional counseling, peer support groups, and community programs help bereaved parents process their loss.
Siblings need specialized support to navigate their own grief while watching their family change.
Finding support early and staying connected to others who understand helps families move toward healing.
CURE Childhood Cancer offers dedicated bereavement programs, including Weekend of Hope and Healing and Legacy of Love events, as well as professional counseling.

What Is Pediatric Cancer Bereavement Support?

Pediatric cancer bereavement support refers to the emotional, psychological, and practical resources available to families after a child dies from cancer. This support addresses the specific grief that comes with losing a young life to illness.

Unlike general grief services, pediatric cancer bereavement programs understand the unique circumstances families face. You’ve already spent months or years in treatment, forming relationships with medical teams and other families. Your grief exists alongside memories of hospital stays, procedures, and hope that didn’t turn out as planned.

CURE Childhood Cancer recognizes that support doesn’t stop when treatment stops. Their bereavement programs connect families with others who truly understand this specific kind of loss.

How Does Grief Differ When You Lose a Child to Cancer?

The grief that follows a child’s death from cancer carries its own weight. You’ve likely experienced anticipatory grief during treatment – the fear and sadness that come with an uncertain prognosis. Now you’re processing both the loss itself and the end of a caregiving role that consumed your life.

Parents often describe feeling disconnected from friends and family who haven’t shared this experience. Well-meaning comments can feel dismissive rather than comforting. This isolation makes specialized support even more important.

What Types of Counseling Help Bereaved Parents?

Several counseling approaches have shown effectiveness for parents grieving a child’s death from cancer. Finding the right fit depends on your personal needs, timeline, and comfort level with different formats.

Individual Grief Counseling

One-on-one sessions with a licensed therapist give you space to process emotions privately. A counselor trained in grief and loss can help you work through guilt, anger, sadness, and the complicated feelings that don’t fit neatly into categories.
Individual counseling works well if you prefer privacy or have specific concerns you want to address. Some parents find it helpful to start with individual sessions before joining group programs.

Couples and Family Therapy

Partners often grieve differently. One person may want to talk constantly while the other retreats into silence. Family therapy creates a space where everyone can express their needs and learn to support each other without judgment.

Children remaining in the family may have questions or fears they haven’t voiced. A family therapist can facilitate conversations that strengthen relationships during this difficult time.

Meaning-Centered Grief Therapy

This approach helps you find purpose and meaning after loss. Rather than focusing solely on pain, meaning-centered therapy explores how your child’s life continues to influence your own. Many parents find this shift in perspective helpful as they move forward.

How Do Peer Support Groups Help Bereaved Families?

Peer support groups connect you with other parents who have lost children to cancer. These groups offer something professionals cannot: shared lived experience. When another parent nods in understanding, you know they truly get it. CURE Childhood Cancer hosts regular bereavement support groups for both mothers and fathers. These informal gatherings allow you to share your story, listen to others, and feel less alone in your grief.

What Support Exists for Siblings Who Have Lost a Brother or Sister to Cancer?

Siblings experience grief differently from parents, and their needs deserve focused attention. A child who has lost a sibling may feel overlooked as parents navigate their own pain. They may also experience survivor’s guilt, fear about their own health, or anger that life has changed so dramatically.

Young children often express grief through play, art, or behavior changes rather than words. Age-appropriate programs are designed for children to use creative activities to help them process emotions they may not yet have the vocabulary to describe. Through CURE’s Counseling Program, siblings can be connected with counselors trained to facilitate these types of programs.

How Can CURE Childhood Cancer’s Bereavement Programs Help Your Family?

CURE Childhood Cancer offers multiple bereavement programs designed to meet families where they are in their grief journey. These programs recognize that healing isn’t linear and that support needs change over time.

Weekend of Hope and Healing

This intensive program is designed for families who have lost a child to pediatric cancer within the last three years. The weekend brings together bereaved parents for support, guest speakers, breakout sessions, and time to celebrate the lives of children who are no longer present.

The Weekend of Hope and Healing creates space to grieve openly while connecting with others who understand. Many parents describe these gatherings as turning points in their healing journey.

Legacy of Love

For families further along in their grief who lost their child more than three years ago, Legacy of Love offers a gentler reconnection. This special day includes a meal, a candle lighting ceremony, and a guest speaker in a relaxed environment.
Grief doesn’t have an expiration date. CURE Childhood Cancer ensures that support remains available for as long as families need it.

Events for Bereaved Fathers and Mothers

CURE hosts separate quarterly events specifically for moms and dads who have lost a child to cancer, creating a space where they can connect with other fathers who understand.

What Should You Look for in a Grief Counselor or Therapist?

Finding the right grief counselor makes a significant difference in your healing journey. Not all therapists have experience with child loss or cancer bereavement specifically. Here’s what to consider when searching.

Specialized Training and Experience

Look for counselors who have worked with bereaved parents or specialize in grief and loss. Ask about their experience with families affected by childhood cancer. A therapist who understands the medical journey you’ve been through can connect more quickly with your experience.

Therapeutic Approach

Different counselors use different methods. Some focus on talk therapy, while others incorporate creative techniques like art or writing. Some take a more structured approach, while others follow your lead. Ask potential therapists about their style to find a good match.

Comfort and Connection

The relationship between you and your counselor matters more than any specific technique. During initial conversations, notice whether you feel heard and respected. Trust your instincts about fit.

What Role Does Community Play in Bereavement Support?

Community connections, whether through organizations, religious groups, or informal networks, play a vital role in healing. Isolation intensifies grief, while connection eases it.

Memorial Events and Remembrance Activities

CURE Childhood Cancer hosts events throughout the year, creating opportunities for families to honor their children’s memories together. These gatherings let you publicly remember your child, surrounded by others who understand why remembering matters. Please contact Karen Rutherford at [email protected] for more information about these events.

Giving Back and Finding Purpose

Some bereaved parents find meaning through advocacy, fundraising, or supporting other families facing childhood cancer. This isn’t about “moving on,” it’s about channeling love for your child into action that helps others. Organizations like CURE Childhood Cancer welcome volunteers and advocates, offering structured ways to get involved when you’re ready.

What Resources Are Available for Financial Help During Bereavement?

The financial strain of childhood cancer doesn’t end with death. Families often face funeral costs, medical bills, and lost income while simultaneously coping with grief. CURE Childhood Cancer delivers emergency financial aid to families fighting childhood cancer, and support continues through the bereavement process for families who need it.

Finding Your Path in Bereavement

The death of a child to cancer leaves a permanent mark on your life. Bereavement support doesn’t erase that loss; it helps you learn to carry it while still finding moments of peace, connection, and even joy. CURE Childhood Cancer believes that bereaved families deserve ongoing support for as long as they need it. Whether you’re newly bereaved or years into your grief journey, resources exist to help you.

Your child’s life mattered, your grief is valid, and you don’t have to walk this road alone.

Mark Myers In Family & Patient Support

Pack Your Mental Health Survival Kit: Tools Every Teen Needs

As a teen, managing mental health while balancing school, friends, family, and relationships can feel like an impossible task. Add in the stress of a cancer diagnosis and things can feel like they are spiraling out of control quickly. With the right tools, though, we can strengthen our emotional well-being and bonds with others, even in times of high stress or critical need.

When we don’t feel well, get sick, or get injured, our doctors formulate and follow treatment plans to help us manage our pain and heal our bodies. Similarly, when we create and maintain a toolkit specifically designed to support our mental health, we can proactively protect our emotional needs and help safeguard against bigger issues from arising in the future.

Just like a first aid kit, there are lots of essential items that you’ll want to include to ensure you’re prepared for anything.

First and foremost, will be a short note detailing key mental health information:
What are some of your go-to coping skills and strategies? (Examples may include deep breathing, muscle relaxation, thought stopping, yoga, dance, music, art, etc.)
Who are your primary support people? (Your list may include friends, family, counselors, spiritual advisors, etc.)
What emergency phone numbers may you want or need in moments of high mental or emotional stress? (i.e. Georgia Crisis & Access Line: 800-715-4225; Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: 988)

Once you’ve created your letter to yourself, it’s time to fill up the rest of your kit. As you select what items to add, it can be helpful to think about each of your senses and what appeals to them.

Sight: pictures of special places, people, and pets in your life; fun magazine clippings; a list of comfort books, videos, or TV shows/movies; favorite poems, quotes, or affirmations
Sound: favorite CDs or Vinyl; links to songs or artists that you enjoy; a seashell (to listen to the waves); a windchime
Touch: stress balls; fidgets; silly putty or slime; kinetic sand; fabrics or textures you enjoy; stuffed animals; weighted blanket
Smell: small bottle of perfume or cologne; essential oils; candles; wax melts; scented markers
Taste: chocolate (preferably dark chocolate, due to its proven mental health benefits); fruit snacks; bottled water; favorite candy or snacks; mints; chewing gum; favorite tea flavors or water enhancers

Once you have items supporting each of your senses, you will also want to include some mindfulness or grounding activities…anything that can help your brain focus on the present moment and not the tornado of thoughts, feelings, or fears swirling around in your head! Some options for this might be a small craft, a puzzle, coloring or doodling pages, sensory tubes, yoga pose cards, printed or audio-guided meditations, a finger labyrinth, or even a snow globe (to shake up and then watch as the snow settles back to the bottom).

Many of the items in your toolkit may already be around your home and simply need to be collected in one location, but others may take a bit more effort. The dollar store can be a great place to find affordable sensory items and activities, but if going to the store is too much to manage, then there are tons of resources and toolkit necessities available online.

https://www.strong4life.com/en/emotional-wellness/coping/healthy-coping-strategies-for-kids
https://www.nih.gov/health-information/emotional-wellness-toolkit
https://mentalhealthcenterkids.com/blogs/articles/coping-skills-for-teens

Finally, it is important to make your toolkit easily seen and accessible, by placing it in a readily available spot in your home and decorating it with positive statements, stickers, paint, or even a fun fabric cover. Start getting into the habit of looking through and using your toolkit on a regular basis, so that when you need it, your mind and body will already know just what to do!

If you or your sibling has been diagnosed with cancer, CURE can help through our Counseling Program. To learn more, visit curechildhoodcancer.org/family-support/counseling/ or contact Chelsea Key at [email protected].

Rachel Raven is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker focused on helping clients of all ages on their journey towards growth and happiness.

Mark Myers In Family & Patient Support

Marital Stability While Caregiving a Child with Cancer

By Alice D. Hoag, EdD

Caring for a child with cancer is one of the most challenging experiences any parent can face. The emotional toll on caregivers is immense, often leading to feelings of burnout and strain on marital relationships.

It’s crucial for both partners to stay aligned in their approach to caregiving. Even though they each have their own unique relationship with the child, they may have different outlooks on life and different emotional-regulation styles. It’s vital for partners to stay connected as a couple, despite possibly having different love languages or expressions of their affection for each other.

Here are some tips:

Respect Differences

Acknowledge that each partner may cope differently with this stress and trauma. One may be more hands-on with medical care, while the other provides emotional support. One may need to take a leave of absence while the other increases their work responsibilities to make ends meet. One may need greater physical/sexual intimacy during this season of distress. One of the most important things you can do is respect and value these differences and figure out a way to honor each person’s needs.

Avoid Blame

Cancer is no one’s fault. Blaming oneself or one’s partner is a futile expression of anger, a waste of energy. It won’t take the cancer away, and it won’t make it easier to navigate; it only creates division and exhaustion.

Unified Front

Let love and respect for each other be the strongest elements in your relationship with one another. Present to your child that you are a unified team of love and safety for them, that both of you love your child in your own unique way, both of you are determined to keep your child safe, and both of you are working tirelessly toward your child’s healing.

Regular Check-Ins

While time together is scarce at best, especially during the early stages of diagnosis and treatment, making time to stay connected with each other is essential. You are partners on this journey, not just co-workers. Schedule regular check-ins to discuss your child’s care, your feelings, thoughts and concerns, and how to juggle all the other responsibilities. This helps ensure that both partners are informed and involved.

Communicate, communicate, communicate

In case you missed it with that last point, communicating with each other is an absolute necessity! Communicating proactively and intentionally can be difficult when you’re both stressed, scared, and have no time. Give yourself and your partner permission to miss something important because you/they were multi-tasking and simply weren’t able to pay attention. Ask the other to repeat what was just said or offer to repeat what you just said without irritation, gently and with compassion. You are both most likely doing the very best you know how at this moment.

Set Boundaries

Establish boundaries to protect your relationship. For example, designate certain times as “couple time” where you focus on each other and not on caregiving duties or on the heaviness of cancer.

Delegate

Lean on your support network. It is not uncommon for friends and family to express a desire to come alongside to help. Since most have probably never experienced the devastation and overwhelm of caring for a child with cancer, this help is often so vague that it feels more like an obligation than a help. (“Let me know how I can help.”) I often hear from clients that they have no bandwidth to come up with ways people can help, so they end up not utilizing the help being offered. Try to keep a list on your phone of small to large things people can help you with: making meals for those at home; running errands for things you or your partner may want at the hospital; taking care of your pet(s); babysitting your other children; play dates, or parties; providing lawn care, etc.

Seek Support and Professional Help

CURE Childhood Cancer is a rich resource of support for those on this journey; take advantage of all the services and support they offer. Many of my clients tell me they appreciate talking with a counselor rather than their friends/family because they “don’t want to burden them” with their painful journey all the time and would prefer keeping these relationships as distractions from the heaviness of cancer. Counselors are unbiased third parties who are trained to handle trauma and challenging emotions.

If you or your family needs support during your cancer journey, please contact Chelsea Key at [email protected].

Mark Myers In Family & Patient Support

Boosting Your Wellness

Parents and caregivers of children with cancer often feel the weight of the world on their shoulders. There are clinic days, hospital stays, dinners to be made, laundry piling up, and work deadlines to manage, not to mention the background fear, worry, and isolation you may feel.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month and it’s a great time to look at ways to boost your own mental well-being and resilience. Though a spa day would be nice, there are other subtler and smaller ways to boost your wellness.

As you sit and read this, notice your posture. Are your shoulders hunched and your torso curled forward? If so, breathe in through your nose and pull your shoulders down and away from your ears. Slowly breathe out as you lengthen your spine. Repeat a few times until you feel your body relaxing. Deep breathing is a powerful and effective way to help ground us in the moment, and it can be done at any time and place.
Try to catch a few “weak ties.” Weak ties is a term used to describe the people we interact with who are not friends or acquaintances, and research shows that weak ties are powerful mood boosters because they offer a sense of novelty with social engagement. Maybe there’s a friendly cashier at the hospital cafe, or a crossing guard at your child’s school who would benefit from seeing you smile and say thank you. Trying to find a few weak ties may brighten your (and their) day.
Give yourself permission to rest. Friends and family may want to show their support by visiting, but it’s more than okay to say that you really need some downtime and a nap instead.
Keep your eyes out for stray moments of joy and connection each day, like the nurse who can make your child laugh, or the warm hug from a friend who cares about you. These little moments add up, and they might be enough to buoy you through the day with a growing sense of wellness, even during the most challenging times.

In addition to these tips for boosting your own sense of wellness, here are some tools you can use with your child to help them manage feelings of anxiety. Having older kids draw or list out the things that make them feel anxious is often eye-opening for adults. Children with cancer are often more concerned about the logistics of medical procedures than the outcome of their diagnosis. Older kids and teens may be worried about procedures in addition to long-term outcomes and the effect cancer will have on their school life, friendships, and extracurricular activities. Doing the Inner Sirens activity, whether spoken out loud or drawn on paper, will help your child externalize their worries. (CLICK HERE to download an Inner Sirens sheet you can print.)

The Tips for Managing Medical Anxiety contains just a few of the tried and true methods for helping children get through difficult procedures. It’s always a good idea to prepare children for procedures using age-appropriate language, providing enough information to answer their questions without overwhelming them, and using resources like child life specialists and other professionals to help prepare your child. Young children will benefit from having devices and procedures shown to them and explained using stuffed animals, dolls, and sample medical equipment. (CLICK HERE to download Tips for Managing Medical Anxiety.)

Though childhood cancer is a painful journey, parents and caregivers are not alone. You can reach out to your doctor or CURE representative for help finding the support you need. If you would like to learn more about CURE’s Counseling Program, please CLICK HERE.

Written by Mary-Beth Archer from Art It Out.

Mary-Beth Archer is a licensed master social worker who provides play-based and expressive arts therapy at Art It Out. She is passionate about connecting with children and adolescents through developmentally appropriate play-based techniques. Her goal is to honor the individuality of each child and to help them develop the resilience they need to thrive. She has worked as an international children and families social worker and as a children’s trauma therapist. She has four children of her own and deeply understands the joys and challenges of parenting. Mary-Beth has additional training in Trauma-focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Grief Counseling, and Sand Tray Expressive Arts

Mark Myers In Childhood Cancer, Children, Events, Family & Patient Support

A Life of Strength, Love, and Courage

Weighing in at 9 pounds, 10 ounces, Chrisean was big from the start. He had so many rolls that his family called him the “marshmallow baby.” As a child, he enjoyed dressing up in a suit and tie, especially to go to church. At the age of 13, he stood an imposing six feet tall and weighed 250 pounds. When he stopped eating, his mother, Machelle, knew something was wrong.

“He was complaining about body aches and pain everywhere,” Machelle said. “We went to the doctor several times and came home with different pain medicines. But no one could tell us what was wrong.”

One day, Chrisean called Machelle from school because his chest hurt badly. She took him to the children’s hospital, where the doctor pulled down his eyelid and noticed his skin was nearly white. When he ordered a blood test, the staff found a new problem – Chrisean was terrified of needles. He was so big that the nurses had to get two men and a security officer to hold him down to draw blood. The blood test revealed that Chrisean had acute lymphoblastic leukemia.

“When the doctor told us, I was confident that he would be alright,” Machelle said. “He had a game plan and said it was very treatable.”

During his hospital stays, Chrisean questioned everything. He researched every chemo he was to be given and asked questions of doctors, nurses, and anyone who provided care. A little more than a year into his three-year treatment, Chrisean developed a cough that turned into a fever. His breathing got progressively worse until his medical team decided he needed to be on a respirator. Things descended rapidly from that point. With his immune system depleted because of chemotherapy, Chrisean’s body was unable to fight off a virus.

“Chrisean called everyone in the family and asked them to come to the hospital,” Machelle said. “I think he understood that he was at the end. He got to say goodbye and tell us all he loved us before he passed.”

Chrisean passed on August 25, 2020.

“We met CURE in the hospital with meals, and CURE supported our family at Christmas,” Machelle shared. “But I didn’t know CURE would still be here for us after Chrisean died.”

Machelle has attended CURE’s Hope and Healing bereavement retreats and regularly enjoys gatherings with other bereaved mothers, as well as CURE’s Quiet Heroes luncheon.

“I just want to thank you. Hope and Healing has been a saving grace for me,” she said. “A lot of times, I didn’t want to exist in this world without my baby, and most people don’t know what it is like to lose a piece of your heart. It was a breath of fresh air being around other people who know this pain. I still need help and support, but I can help moms who are new to grief.”