Parents and caregivers of children with cancer often feel the weight of the world on their shoulders. There are clinic days, hospital stays, dinners to be made, laundry piling up, and work deadlines to manage, not to mention the background fear, worry, and isolation you may feel.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month and it’s a great time to look at ways to boost your own mental well-being and resilience. Though a spa day would be nice, there are other subtler and smaller ways to boost your wellness.
- As you sit and read this, notice your posture. Are your shoulders hunched and your torso curled forward? If so, breathe in through your nose and pull your shoulders down and away from your ears. Slowly breathe out as you lengthen your spine. Repeat a few times until you feel your body relaxing. Deep breathing is a powerful and effective way to help ground us in the moment, and it can be done at any time and place.
- Try to catch a few “weak ties.” Weak ties is a term used to describe the people we interact with who are not friends or acquaintances, and research shows that weak ties are powerful mood boosters because they offer a sense of novelty with social engagement. Maybe there’s a friendly cashier at the hospital cafe, or a crossing guard at your child’s school who would benefit from seeing you smile and say thank you. Trying to find a few weak ties may brighten your (and their) day.
- Give yourself permission to rest. Friends and family may want to show their support by visiting, but it’s more than okay to say that you really need some downtime and a nap instead.
- Keep your eyes out for stray moments of joy and connection each day, like the nurse who can make your child laugh, or the warm hug from a friend who cares about you. These little moments add up, and they might be enough to buoy you through the day with a growing sense of wellness, even during the most challenging times.
In addition to these tips for boosting your own sense of wellness, here are some tools you can use with your child to help them manage feelings of anxiety. Having older kids draw or list out the things that make them feel anxious is often eye-opening for adults. Children with cancer are often more concerned about the logistics of medical procedures than the outcome of their diagnosis. Older kids and teens may be worried about procedures in addition to long-term outcomes and the effect cancer will have on their school life, friendships, and extracurricular activities. Doing the Inner Sirens activity, whether spoken out loud or drawn on paper, will help your child externalize their worries. (CLICK HERE to download an Inner Sirens sheet you can print.)
The Tips for Managing Medical Anxiety contains just a few of the tried and true methods for helping children get through difficult procedures. It’s always a good idea to prepare children for procedures using age-appropriate language, providing enough information to answer their questions without overwhelming them, and using resources like child life specialists and other professionals to help prepare your child. Young children will benefit from having devices and procedures shown to them and explained using stuffed animals, dolls, and sample medical equipment. (CLICK HERE to download Tips for Managing Medical Anxiety.)
Though childhood cancer is a painful journey, parents and caregivers are not alone. You can reach out to your doctor or CURE representative for help finding the support you need. If you would like to learn more about CURE’s Counseling Program, please CLICK HERE.
Written by Mary-Beth Archer from Art It Out.
Mary-Beth Archer is a licensed master social worker who provides play-based and expressive arts therapy at Art It Out. She is passionate about connecting with children and adolescents through developmentally appropriate play-based techniques. Her goal is to honor the individuality of each child and to help them develop the resilience they need to thrive. She has worked as an international children and families social worker and as a children’s trauma therapist. She has four children of her own and deeply understands the joys and challenges of parenting. Mary-Beth has additional training in Trauma-focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Grief Counseling, and Sand Tray Expressive Arts
