Jacob’s son, Caleb, had been complaining of back pain and tiring easily for about a week, which was unusual. Then came the night he dropped a piece of paper and couldn’t bend to pick it up. He cried out in pain. By the next morning, Caleb had spiked a fever of 104. Jacob and his wife, Katie, immediately took him to the hospital, thinking it could be a kidney infection. They soon learned it was something far worse.
“We were shocked,” Jacob said. “I knew something was wrong when several doctors filed into the room.”
Caleb had leukemia. What followed was two and a half weeks in the hospital with both parents present around the clock. Caleb underwent surgery and procedures to begin chemotherapy to fight his leukemia. He had complications from treatment that caused him to struggle to breathe at times. The family was finally discharged, and Caleb continues treatment on an outpatient basis for now. Through it all, Jacob hasn’t missed a single appointment, and he’s learned a lot about himself.
“In the South, it’s instilled that you have to be strong for your family,” he said. “You’re not supposed to be emotional. But Caleb and his brothers need to see their dad process emotions. They need to know it’s okay to be scared; that mommy and daddy are sad too, and that we can do hard things together with the help of God. They need to know that courage doesn’t always mean silence.”
The good news is that Caleb’s leukemia is a favorable-risk, highly treatable form, and it was discovered early. He is responding to treatment and is in the interim maintenance phase of his initial treatment. Caleb’s energy has returned and he is back to his playful self, which brings a great deal of comfort. As his immune system has been stronger, he’s even been able to take swimming lessons recently.
Caleb is part of a very close-knit family, and Jacob isn’t the only man involved in his care. His grandfather, Tim Adams, has spent much of his adult life fighting childhood cancer, just not this close.
A high school football and track coach for his entire career, Tim created Coaches for Curing Cancer in 2015 to support CURE. The organization has raised more than $75,000 since it started. His motivation was the memory of his nephew, Penn Mobley, who died of a central nervous system tumor.
“We were a little more in the back seat during Penn’s treatment,” Tim said. “I never thought we would move to the front seat.”
Now he and his wife, Anna, are fixtures at Caleb’s clinic days, steady presences in a world of waiting rooms, port accesses, and lumbar punctures. Tim watches his daughter navigate this. He watches Jacob hold Caleb’s hand through every difficult moment. And he finds himself face to face with something he cannot coach his way through.
“The hardest part for me is being absolutely powerless,” he said. “Caleb has taught me lessons about patience and taking life head-on. This has been humbling, but it has brought us all closer together in some ways, too.”
This Father’s Day, Jacob and Tim represent so many dads and granddads who have been forced to learn what it means to be in the front seat with their child. Sometimes, showing up is all that can be done; sitting in the waiting room, or holding a hand through a port access. It might not be what the world calls strength. But it is the kind of strength that matters most.
