He’s Not Here
Moving. Leaving. Exchanging one place for another. Often it is done out of necessity, sometimes done by choice – a new job, new family, or an opportunity to prosper in another place. First comes the decision and then there is the packing. Endless boxes poured over with closets that seemed so small when you lived there, but never seem to have a back wall when you’re forced to clear them out. How many trips to Goodwill could there possibly be in a 2500 square foot house? The answer to that can be a staggering amount.
What do you take and what do you leave?
Most of us have moved at some point. It is a difficult process, to say the least. I have made the request of my family to never make me endure another move. When I go, I just want them to condemn the house and implode the walls around me. It would be easier for all of us that way.
Would you ever leave your child behind?
You laugh at that.
You are ready to close the browser and stop reading because the question seems preposterous. You say there is no possible way you would do that! You would never leave your child and on the face of it, I see your objection to my question. But I met a woman – a loving mother who was forced to do just that. She moved away from her son.
After a five year sickness that turned into a cancer diagnosis and ended in her son’s death at seven years-old, Stephanie’s life took a number of turns. She left Atlanta and moved further north where no one knew her situation, no one had heard of her son, and nobody spoke his name. His name. Creed. It’s not their fault, they couldn’t have known. Some have learned of her boy and will read about him and comment to her. That is a sweet effort that she always appreciates. But he’s not here. He lived two homes ago and often seems a lifetime away.
Everyone handles loss differently. For some, an escape is necessary. To move forward, they have to move away from the place of pain and that’s okay. There is no right way to grieve – no cookie cutter process or recipe to be followed that will mend a broken heart. Some hearts stay broken.
So how do you adapt? How does one go to a new place and leave their child behind?
“Our guest room is a shrine. I tell people they are welcome to stay but I warn them because I don’t want to freak them out when they see all of his stuff and his pictures on the wall,” she said. “And when the house is quiet and I need him, I go and lay down in his bed.”
Unfortunately, Mom’s like Stephanie aren’t alone. Cancer has caused far too many moms to make a choice to stay or move. She keeps Creed’s memory alive by telling his story and decorating his room. But more importantly, she is working with CURE to fund a cure to childhood cancer so that other moms don’t have to leave their babies behind. Join Stephanie today and contribute to The Creedlove Fund.
The Creedlove Fund provides support to patients undergoing treatment for childhood cancer and their families. Your gift, no matter how large or small will help a family in need.