Always Looking Up
As I think ahead towards another Mother’s Day, I always feel a wide range of emotions…first and foremost there’s always joy, gratitude and pride …. We’ve all been blessed to be called on to give the miracle of birth and be a mother – there’s no greater Joy!
My reflection as a mom who also just happens to have a child that has endured and fought Stage IV cancer as we watched and held on to hope, Mother’s Day is a day I always take an extra-long pause. I am so thankful for both of my boys and that God chose me to be their mother. I’m also thankful for all that we have shared together as a family as Trenton battled stave IV neuroblastoma and what that battle taught us. I know it sounds odd to be thankful for such a battle, but Trenton has taught me so much about being his mom and overcoming the greatest of odds, especially when all odds were against him. Taylor has taught me to smile even when you’re hurting deep inside and not understanding the world crashing around you.
As a mother with a cancer child, childhood cancer impacts your life forever. You can’t walk away from it just because your child is healed. You run towards it and fight harder because you do not want another mother to hear the same words you heard and watch such horror on a daily basis. It’s like Groundhog Day, but each day you wake up to a nightmare of what your child may endure that new day.
So many of the families that I have come to know and love over the years have lost their children to cancer. This is why we started the Trenton W. Kindred Research Fund, so that we can stop this beast taking the lives of the children of tomorrow!
When I think of both of our boys I think of Brave, Endurance and Understanding. Trenton has been thru 5 rounds of chemo, 21 surgeries, harvested his own cells to then endure 2 bone marrow transplants, 21-days straight of radiation and 6 months of oral chemo, all over a period of 19 months. He still attends survivorship clinic and liver doctor appointments which consist of multiple blood draws and IV’s and long MRI scans. There are many times when we can see him wince in pain when he thinks no one is looking, but he doesn’t complain. His IV sticks and blood draws are tough because his veins are so small and collapse because he’s been stuck too many times to count. But he never complains. He endures. He is Brave and he is Strong and his brother smiles and tries to hope for Understanding.
Speaking of big brother, Taylor….. The siblings always seem to be overlooked thru a journey like this. Not on purpose, it’s just a given. Taylor has stayed strong and always has a smile, even if it is to hide the fears and scars of his own. But that is the way of cancer. There is always collateral damage. He endures. He is Brave and he is Strong.
I am an incredibly blessed mother, because my boys offer me maternal wisdom as only a child can do. There is so much I could share as I reflect on Mother’s Day and how our miracle inspires me each day. …to all the moms I’ve been blessed to have in my life as family and many friends, you’ve walked this chapter with me…… I’m so thankful for each of you. Being a mom is HARD and no mom I know EVER thinks she’s doing a good enough job. I’m just thankful to be a Mother and that God chose me to be this mom of two of the strongest and bravest boys I know!
Always looking up ~ Happy Mother’s Day